Monday, April 20

Artania - Worst Show Ever

OK, so let me start by saying, my mom does a lot of nice things for the family. This was an attempt at one of those nice things. However, at no fault of her own, this was an EPIC FAIL.

There have been persistent advertisements in the Houston Chronicle recently for a show called Artania, billed as an Acrobatic Horse Show. Mom saw this, and I had seen the ads, so when she called and offered to take us and the kids, I said sure.

So, yesterday was the big day. Out to Sam Houston Race Park we went. The event was set up in one of those huge canvas tents in the parking lot. There was an extra charge for parking, on top of the $22 per ticket cheap seat price.

Into the tent we went. There is a fairly large hospitality area when you first go in with food and drinks. The first thing you notice is that it smells strongly of Popcorn..... and horseshit. Nice combo.

So, we herd the kids past the snack bar, which has a nice selection of food and beverages, priced at the same low prices you see in movie theaters and sports stadiums. Whoopee!

The arena is rather small for a horse show. These pictures are a little fuzzy, my Blackberry Storm was having issues in the low light situation.

There was an announcement made several times, "Flash photography and video recording of any kind are strictly prohibited as they may spook the horses." OK, I get the flash thing, but video? Really? So, they have a horse or horses in the show that would say, "Oh, shit, that guy has a video camera, now I'm spooked! Run like hell!"



A crowd slowly gathered in the arena, but I'd say it never got past 40% full.



The rest of the pictures are kind of random, just taken throughout the show.

The show started on time, but roughly half the visitors did not, so the first 30 minutes of the show there was a constant procession of rude people coming in to sit for the first time. A show like this should have some no late admission process, or stairs to the back of the seating so that you aren't watching a constant stream of late comers and bathroom goers.

The show was awful, I think it was trying to tell some sort of story. But there was little or no narration. And even when there was talk, it was in some sort of incomprehensible gibberish, kind of like talking to someone who is really drunk and happy.

The show was broken into two segments with a lenghty intermission. The second half was much shorter, and better than the first half. In fact, if the show had been just the second half, it might have seemed like a good show.

There were VIRTUALLY NO HORSES in the first segment. And when there were, they were generally old nags led around the arena on a lead, and off the stage. More like misdirection in a magic act. The one time the horses did move fast, there were two different acrobats running and jumping at the horses, as if to mount them in motion, but both kept failing. I'm not sure if it was deliberate failure, or if they couldn't mount, but either way, I can run at a moving horse, jump and not land on the horse. Not much to that I'm afraid.

With a few exceptions, the show was mostly human acrobatics, set to funky new age music. Horses figured into less than 10% of the show. Yet, when you go to their website, it talks about how great the horses in the show are, and the pictures there have horses in about 80% of them.

The second part of the show was a little better, they even had a segment that featured four lovely women in tight outfits dancing seductively. How bad was the show? I found myself wishing this part would hurry up and end. If you know me at all, you know something has to be truly awful for me to not be interested in suggestively dancing women.

By the mid point of the second part my wife had to take our daughter out, she loves horses, was very excited about the show, but had lost interest. My oldest son had lost interest and spent the rest of the show aggravating his cousin. The only one interested till the end was my youngest son, he loved the whole thing and clapped a lot when the crowd would start clapping.

At the very end they finally brought out some healthy horses that could run and did some acrobatic stunts with them. However, by then I was just ready to make a run for the door.

Did I mention how hot it was inside the tent? There was very little ventilation. It was at least 20 degrees cooler when we walked out into the sunshine.

This was an awful show. Don't waste your hard earned dollars on Artania.









Artania Website

Labels: , , ,


Thursday, April 9

Someone emptied my trash!

My mother wanted me to get a respectable job. Instead I choose to be an IT Jockey. I should have listened to my mom...

This mail graced the box of EVERYONE in IT this morning from one of our uers.



Essentially the user is upset becuase their trash was emptied, apparently without warning. How amazing, trash, thrown away. This happens about once a week here from our users, "My Deleted Items are gone, I needed those, that is why I deleted them."

WTF - ? - Look up Delete on the Internet you dumbass.

Here is a picture of the "Deleted Items Folder". Damn, if that does not look like a trash can. Imagine, taking out the trash... unholy activity!



We had to send the user a message that on our system, she would have had to click an OK box or manually start the emptying of her trash. Please open a ticket if you would like your trash bin recovered. Genius!

Labels: , ,


Monday, April 6

Cube Number 9

Ok, this is my nineth cube in 2.5 years at the job. I average about 3.5 months between moves. It takes about two days each move, so I've been paid now for about 18 days of moving.

Check it out, I have my main laptop with 2 19" displays. A small Thinkpad that I use for Network Analysis. A desktop with 2 17" Displays that I use for development and testing. And finally I have a Lenovo Ideapad that is mine from home I use for games and dinky stuff at lunch.

Labels: , ,


Sunday, April 5

Terrific New Product!

Yes, this product was much needed, the world will be a better place.

Because when it comes to lips and assholes, ground up and grilled, you only want the finest, corn fed lips and assholes. No, no low quality lips and assholes for you.

Me, personally, I'm holding out Kobe Beef Frankfurters.

Angus Anus - Yumm!!!

Labels: , , ,


Wednesday, April 1

Best E-mail Address, EVER:

Got this from EMC tonight, this guy has to love his e-mail address:



Really thought it was going to be SPAM.

Labels: ,


Number of people who will never get their time back from reading this page:
Counters