Monday, April 20
Artania - Worst Show Ever
OK, so let me start by saying, my mom does a lot of nice things for the family. This was an attempt at one of those nice things. However, at no fault of her own, this was an EPIC FAIL.
There have been persistent advertisements in the Houston Chronicle recently for a show called Artania, billed as an Acrobatic Horse Show. Mom saw this, and I had seen the ads, so when she called and offered to take us and the kids, I said sure.
So, yesterday was the big day. Out to Sam Houston Race Park we went. The event was set up in one of those huge canvas tents in the parking lot. There was an extra charge for parking, on top of the $22 per ticket cheap seat price.
Into the tent we went. There is a fairly large hospitality area when you first go in with food and drinks. The first thing you notice is that it smells strongly of Popcorn..... and horseshit. Nice combo.
So, we herd the kids past the snack bar, which has a nice selection of food and beverages, priced at the same low prices you see in movie theaters and sports stadiums. Whoopee!
The arena is rather small for a horse show. These pictures are a little fuzzy, my Blackberry Storm was having issues in the low light situation.
There was an announcement made several times, "Flash photography and video recording of any kind are strictly prohibited as they may spook the horses." OK, I get the flash thing, but video? Really? So, they have a horse or horses in the show that would say, "Oh, shit, that guy has a video camera, now I'm spooked! Run like hell!"
A crowd slowly gathered in the arena, but I'd say it never got past 40% full.
The rest of the pictures are kind of random, just taken throughout the show.
The show started on time, but roughly half the visitors did not, so the first 30 minutes of the show there was a constant procession of rude people coming in to sit for the first time. A show like this should have some no late admission process, or stairs to the back of the seating so that you aren't watching a constant stream of late comers and bathroom goers.
The show was awful, I think it was trying to tell some sort of story. But there was little or no narration. And even when there was talk, it was in some sort of incomprehensible gibberish, kind of like talking to someone who is really drunk and happy.
The show was broken into two segments with a lenghty intermission. The second half was much shorter, and better than the first half. In fact, if the show had been just the second half, it might have seemed like a good show.
There were VIRTUALLY NO HORSES in the first segment. And when there were, they were generally old nags led around the arena on a lead, and off the stage. More like misdirection in a magic act. The one time the horses did move fast, there were two different acrobats running and jumping at the horses, as if to mount them in motion, but both kept failing. I'm not sure if it was deliberate failure, or if they couldn't mount, but either way, I can run at a moving horse, jump and not land on the horse. Not much to that I'm afraid.
With a few exceptions, the show was mostly human acrobatics, set to funky new age music. Horses figured into less than 10% of the show. Yet, when you go to their website, it talks about how great the horses in the show are, and the pictures there have horses in about 80% of them.
The second part of the show was a little better, they even had a segment that featured four lovely women in tight outfits dancing seductively. How bad was the show? I found myself wishing this part would hurry up and end. If you know me at all, you know something has to be truly awful for me to not be interested in suggestively dancing women.
By the mid point of the second part my wife had to take our daughter out, she loves horses, was very excited about the show, but had lost interest. My oldest son had lost interest and spent the rest of the show aggravating his cousin. The only one interested till the end was my youngest son, he loved the whole thing and clapped a lot when the crowd would start clapping.
At the very end they finally brought out some healthy horses that could run and did some acrobatic stunts with them. However, by then I was just ready to make a run for the door.
Did I mention how hot it was inside the tent? There was very little ventilation. It was at least 20 degrees cooler when we walked out into the sunshine.
This was an awful show. Don't waste your hard earned dollars on Artania.
Artania Website
There have been persistent advertisements in the Houston Chronicle recently for a show called Artania, billed as an Acrobatic Horse Show. Mom saw this, and I had seen the ads, so when she called and offered to take us and the kids, I said sure.
So, yesterday was the big day. Out to Sam Houston Race Park we went. The event was set up in one of those huge canvas tents in the parking lot. There was an extra charge for parking, on top of the $22 per ticket cheap seat price.
Into the tent we went. There is a fairly large hospitality area when you first go in with food and drinks. The first thing you notice is that it smells strongly of Popcorn..... and horseshit. Nice combo.
So, we herd the kids past the snack bar, which has a nice selection of food and beverages, priced at the same low prices you see in movie theaters and sports stadiums. Whoopee!
The arena is rather small for a horse show. These pictures are a little fuzzy, my Blackberry Storm was having issues in the low light situation.
There was an announcement made several times, "Flash photography and video recording of any kind are strictly prohibited as they may spook the horses." OK, I get the flash thing, but video? Really? So, they have a horse or horses in the show that would say, "Oh, shit, that guy has a video camera, now I'm spooked! Run like hell!"
A crowd slowly gathered in the arena, but I'd say it never got past 40% full.
The rest of the pictures are kind of random, just taken throughout the show.
The show started on time, but roughly half the visitors did not, so the first 30 minutes of the show there was a constant procession of rude people coming in to sit for the first time. A show like this should have some no late admission process, or stairs to the back of the seating so that you aren't watching a constant stream of late comers and bathroom goers.
The show was awful, I think it was trying to tell some sort of story. But there was little or no narration. And even when there was talk, it was in some sort of incomprehensible gibberish, kind of like talking to someone who is really drunk and happy.
The show was broken into two segments with a lenghty intermission. The second half was much shorter, and better than the first half. In fact, if the show had been just the second half, it might have seemed like a good show.
There were VIRTUALLY NO HORSES in the first segment. And when there were, they were generally old nags led around the arena on a lead, and off the stage. More like misdirection in a magic act. The one time the horses did move fast, there were two different acrobats running and jumping at the horses, as if to mount them in motion, but both kept failing. I'm not sure if it was deliberate failure, or if they couldn't mount, but either way, I can run at a moving horse, jump and not land on the horse. Not much to that I'm afraid.
With a few exceptions, the show was mostly human acrobatics, set to funky new age music. Horses figured into less than 10% of the show. Yet, when you go to their website, it talks about how great the horses in the show are, and the pictures there have horses in about 80% of them.
The second part of the show was a little better, they even had a segment that featured four lovely women in tight outfits dancing seductively. How bad was the show? I found myself wishing this part would hurry up and end. If you know me at all, you know something has to be truly awful for me to not be interested in suggestively dancing women.
By the mid point of the second part my wife had to take our daughter out, she loves horses, was very excited about the show, but had lost interest. My oldest son had lost interest and spent the rest of the show aggravating his cousin. The only one interested till the end was my youngest son, he loved the whole thing and clapped a lot when the crowd would start clapping.
At the very end they finally brought out some healthy horses that could run and did some acrobatic stunts with them. However, by then I was just ready to make a run for the door.
Did I mention how hot it was inside the tent? There was very little ventilation. It was at least 20 degrees cooler when we walked out into the sunshine.
This was an awful show. Don't waste your hard earned dollars on Artania.
Artania Website
Labels: Artania, awful, horse, show
Comments:
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Yes, the compelling argument of:
!!
Good retort!
I shal now verbally spar with you!
!@! %?() #!
Take that!
!!
Good retort!
I shal now verbally spar with you!
!@! %?() #!
Take that!
This is the worst review ever.
Here is what the show looks like:
judge for yourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVVYWHO2IKc
I am many ppl I know found it amazing.
Here is what the show looks like:
judge for yourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVVYWHO2IKc
I am many ppl I know found it amazing.
That is a GREAT video, it makes the show look really great. Problem is, and I stand by my review, horses were in less than 10% of the show. The advertising said it was a HORSE show, not a silly human acrobat show. Yan Krupnik is a CLOWN. The show was misrepresented in it's advertising and not a HORSE show. It was the Worst Show, and the Worst Show Advertising EVER.
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