Monday, July 28
Teletmarketers Suck
Ok, if you thought that the National No Call list would be great, and heard all the telemarketers on TV saying it was great, and they didn't want to call people that did not want to be called, you were wrong, and they were lying.
From the Houston Chronicle, Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List.
That's right, they think that it is their right, under the Frist Ammendment, to call you, even if you don't want to be called. Remember, you're paying for the phone in your house, but you cannot stop them from calling.
So, it is now time to fight back against the telemarketers. Here are some suggestions, if you send me some additional suggestions, I will add them to the list.
1. Preface your conversation with the telemarketer with, "You don't mind if I'm nude while we discuss this product?"
2. Make an appointment for them to visit your house. Don't be there to meet them. Reschedule. Don't be there to meet them. Repeat till they catch on to your little system.
3. For the recorded messages that call and ask you to leave your name and number so that they can call you back, make up a name, and leave the number for your local politician. Even better, pay attention to the call us at this number messages, and leave a fake name and have them call another telemarketer.
4. If you can get a fax number, fax them a sheet of black construction paper. This is very bad for the element in a thermal fax, and really wastes the toner in a plain paper fax machine. It also takes up a lot of disk space on a computerized fax system.
5. If it is a photo studio, and they ask if you have any children, answer, "not that were ever proven by DNA testing."
6. If the carpet cleaners call, ask them if they can remove pig blood spattered during ritual sacrafice.
7. If it is one of those that just start talking, set the phone down gently and walk away. Let them talk to dead air.
8. Find an inanely stupid question about their product/service, and ask it repeatedly till they get frustrated and hang up. ie - "Does your carpet cleaning service clean carpets?"
9. Act shocked and surprised, like you just won a sweepstakes.
10. If it is a survey from a company where you have done business, and you have previously requested that they not call you, tell them that you will never do business with them again. When they get to the part of the survey as to why, tell them it is from the unwatned survey call.
11. Keep some firecrackers, the big ones, handy. Light the fuse, fake your own suicide by firearm over the phone.
12. Pretend you are depressed and want to commit suicide. Tell them you will kill yourself if they hang up on you.
The most important things to remember: Some of these folks are ordinary, hard working individuals that just can't find legit, honest work. Some are felons in prison working on phone banks. So don't be nice either way. If it is someone who doesn't know better than to work as a telemarketer, being very rude and unfriendly will help them to decide more quickly to get out of the business. If it is a felon, they problaby need to be reminded that they are in prison, and that Bubba is their girlfriend tongiht.
Remember, they called you, all bets are off. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
From the Houston Chronicle, Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List.
That's right, they think that it is their right, under the Frist Ammendment, to call you, even if you don't want to be called. Remember, you're paying for the phone in your house, but you cannot stop them from calling.
So, it is now time to fight back against the telemarketers. Here are some suggestions, if you send me some additional suggestions, I will add them to the list.
1. Preface your conversation with the telemarketer with, "You don't mind if I'm nude while we discuss this product?"
2. Make an appointment for them to visit your house. Don't be there to meet them. Reschedule. Don't be there to meet them. Repeat till they catch on to your little system.
3. For the recorded messages that call and ask you to leave your name and number so that they can call you back, make up a name, and leave the number for your local politician. Even better, pay attention to the call us at this number messages, and leave a fake name and have them call another telemarketer.
4. If you can get a fax number, fax them a sheet of black construction paper. This is very bad for the element in a thermal fax, and really wastes the toner in a plain paper fax machine. It also takes up a lot of disk space on a computerized fax system.
5. If it is a photo studio, and they ask if you have any children, answer, "not that were ever proven by DNA testing."
6. If the carpet cleaners call, ask them if they can remove pig blood spattered during ritual sacrafice.
7. If it is one of those that just start talking, set the phone down gently and walk away. Let them talk to dead air.
8. Find an inanely stupid question about their product/service, and ask it repeatedly till they get frustrated and hang up. ie - "Does your carpet cleaning service clean carpets?"
9. Act shocked and surprised, like you just won a sweepstakes.
10. If it is a survey from a company where you have done business, and you have previously requested that they not call you, tell them that you will never do business with them again. When they get to the part of the survey as to why, tell them it is from the unwatned survey call.
11. Keep some firecrackers, the big ones, handy. Light the fuse, fake your own suicide by firearm over the phone.
12. Pretend you are depressed and want to commit suicide. Tell them you will kill yourself if they hang up on you.
The most important things to remember: Some of these folks are ordinary, hard working individuals that just can't find legit, honest work. Some are felons in prison working on phone banks. So don't be nice either way. If it is someone who doesn't know better than to work as a telemarketer, being very rude and unfriendly will help them to decide more quickly to get out of the business. If it is a felon, they problaby need to be reminded that they are in prison, and that Bubba is their girlfriend tongiht.
Remember, they called you, all bets are off. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Number of people who will never get their time back from reading this page:
